


Take It.

by Are_you_ever_not_going_to_fall_for_that



Series: Why [8]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-28
Updated: 2014-10-28
Packaged: 2018-02-23 00:49:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2527835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Are_you_ever_not_going_to_fall_for_that/pseuds/Are_you_ever_not_going_to_fall_for_that
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Happens pre-Thor and is all about Loki growing up to be who he becomes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take It.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Thor.

All he ever wanted was to be noticed. It was always Thor getting all the attention for being bigger, for being stronger. Loki had tried as a child, he had really tried but his physical strength was never equal to his brother's. So eventually he stopped trying and instead focused on magic and learning, hoping to show himself a worthy at least in that regard.

Another thing that Thor had and he didn't were friends. That was another thing he had tried and failed at. He wasn't sure why no one seemed to like him, just that no one did. The only people who tolerated him sometimes were his brother and his friends. Even they seemed to have a limited amount of patience for him, claiming that books and spells were of no interest to them not when there was real work(training for battle) to be done. They would spend long periods away from him and Loki would spend the time alone. The time alone only further enforced his isolation and feeling of never being good enough. Loki always felt like he never fit in, on earth he might have thought of himself as a round peg in a world full of square pegs. Since he was Aesir he wasn't aware of this comparison intellectually, but he certainly did feel it.

It was during this time that he came up with the conclusion that if he was king then he would finally be noticed. That finally someone would put him in front of Thor and he would no longer have to live in his shadow. So he worked hard learning things like he thought that the All-father would want the future king to know. Loki worked hard at it as he told himself that being king would finally get himself the attention he desired. He tried to not listen to the voices in his head that reminded him that everything else in his life that he had really wanted Loki had failed at.

He tried to convince himself he liked the solitude. Even when he didn't believe it he tried to convince others of it. In fact convincing others what he wanted them to believe about him was something he started doing a lot of. That and playing jokes. People wouldn't voluntary give him their attention, so he found himself having to take it in the form of pranks. The pranks at first had been harmless but somehow snowballed over the long years to something less so.

However none of that mattered at the moment because Father had just announced that Thor would became king! Thor the brute! The muscle! Who had gotten everything that Loki had ever wanted without even trying! His palms gripped the surface of his black wood desk angrily, from the other side of it his stomach pressed up against the desk so hard the edges poked in his abdomen. His fingers were pale from the intensity with which he was grasping it, as he fought the urge to throw this as well. Loki had thrown half the items in his room already and they laid tattered on the floor, looking at him reminding him of he fact that he had failed again.

It was another thing that had grown during the years -along with the feelings of loneliness, isolation, never being good enough, and being a failure-rage. Rage that no matter what he did, what he tried, he would never be seen the same way that Thor was. His father and everyone else would always prefer Thor over Loki and nothing that Loki tried to do would ever change that.

For a moment a crushing depression surfaced, only to be swiftly buried again by the rage. Rage was comforting and it didn't hurt as much as the depression. You could do so much more with rage then you could do with depression. Depression just made you weak, anger made you strong, so he held onto it even as he felt it burning inside of him. He found himself focusing on the wall of his room for a moment that just happened to be where his mirror was and smiled wickedly at his reflection as he realized something important. If his father wouldn't let him be king, if no one wanted him on the throne, then he would just have to take it.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I'm not sure what's up with me I have several stories about Loki's motivations and some of them with outsides forces effecting him in mysterious ways. They also have varying amounts of culpability. So if you like these kind of stories I have some more. The stories are called Buried Memories, Darkness Bleeds, Good Intentions, Doozie, His desire, Sometimes Father Does Know Best, Smarter than the Average Chitauri, and Take it. They're all one or two shots except for Good Intentions.


End file.
